You used to be a challenge for her. You had a very high appeal and she was initially irresistibly drawn to you. Now she's gone and you are saying: "I want my ex back!"
I am preparing to make a wild guess here, and yet could it be that as time went on, you started to be less and less of a challenge for her? And can it be that currently, you might be absolutely no challenge for her? And also that she believes if she wanted to, at any moment she could easily get you back again and wrapped around her little finger by simply saying the word?
Now I'm going to be a bit crude here, nevertheless as you know, to develop into a challenge once more you must demonstrate to your ex-girlfriend that her sexuality does not have any influence over you any more. Contemplate what it's like when you're stalking her with not returned telephone calls, voice mails, text messages, and emails. And after that think of what it is like when you keep on doing it (as quite a few guys do) even after she's told you to stop. You will be implying to the woman that you're a low-value guy without any other dating alternatives.
She will not respect you again until you reject her lovemaking influence over you. Thankfully you're doing that now by not specifically corresponding with her. The last thing she needs to hear from you now is how much "I want my ex back", so stay away from her.
Be sure to stay 100% strict with your communication cut-off. You should not be "buddies" with her, simply because that rewards your ex with the continuing approval of power over you while providing her a comfortable justification to stay broken up. (Your lover justifies that she is letting you down easy this way, assuaging virtually any remorse she may experience.)
Then again, you should definitely keep her locked in with your things. In all likelihood quite a few your belongings are at her residence, and vice versa. She could even owe you money as well. She might ask a mutual friend of yours to ask you if you'd like all of it back again.
The ideal reply to this is simply "No, not yet. The justification is because her possessing your things (and you possessing hers) is still locking you two in and guaranteeing future communication. You do NOT want to provide her the psychological closure that would be caused by settling your accounts.
For the up coming three weeks, you have to completely recognize -- and embrace -- the undeniable fact that you're an independent guy now. Take what transpired with your ex and learn from it. You have a wonderful opportunity to transform your life which will finally allow you to get your exgirlfriend back.
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